How Do I Talk to my Partner?
Erectile Dysfunction, as well as the emotions that the condition often creates, is something that affects many men. Why is it so difficult for men to talk about erectile dysfunction? Many men feel like they’re a failure and inadequate when they suffer from ED. Many pull away from their partners totally in order to avoid having to confront the problem and to avoid being exposed to situations that could lead to sex. Many acquire a new hobby, bury themselves in work, or avoid going to bed with their partner in the evening. Many create conflicts, more or less consciously, to avoid being close to their partner.
These reactions are normal. People are afraid of losing their partners if the problem comes to the surface as well as it being a difficult topic to talk about. It is sensitive, embarrassing and awkward to talk about sex and feelings of failure.
How Does it Feel for my Partner?
All reactions are, of course, individual, but many partners react in a similar way when confronted with their partner’s ED.
Has He Met Another?
Your partner first notices that your tenderness and closeness declines and, because the partner does not know why, they naturally think that you are looking for someone else.
Important Points to Discuss with Your Partner
Start with your desire to be honest. Tell your partner that you find it difficult to talk about this subject, but you still choose to do it because you are afraid of harming your relationship and you want to improve for your common good.
Try to quickly get your partner to understand that there is nothing “wrong” with your partner and you do not think she/he has become unattractive. Many partners tend to find faults in themselves and to take the blame for the lack of sexual contact.
Ask your partner how they feel. Maybe your partner is experiencing the problem differently than you. Partners aren’t always looking for performance, but are often missing more the proximity, warmth and love of the relationship.
Discuss factors in everyday life that may have changed and that may have affected your lifestyle. Are you, for example, exposed to stress at work or upset with the family in some way?
Discuss how you can seek help to get treatment, who it would be easiest to talk to and do you want to go there together?